11 APR ADDICTION AND CODEPENDENCY
in Addiction by Mandi Harris
If you love someone struggling with addiction, you may have felt depressed, helpless, scared, and confused, to name a few emotions. There are many things to know about your loved one who is struggling with addiction. We’re here to talk about symptoms of drug or alcohol abuse, how codependency affects relationships, and where to find addiction help for your loved one.
SIGNS OF DRUG ABUSE
Drug abuse can wreak havoc on many of the body’s organs. For example, alcohol abuse puts tremendous strain on the liver. Cocaine can significantly stress the heart. Heroin can damage the kidneys. These damages can remain hidden for many years but there are many other signs of abuse.
Problems at work – Sudden disinterest, missing assignments, not showing up, a change in performance.
Physical health issues – Lack of energy and motivation, weight loss or gain, red eyes.
Changes in behavior – Secretive, withdrawal from family and friends, depression, irritability.
Neglected appearance – Change in appearance of clothing and bathing. Abusing any of a wide range of drugs over a period of time can cause a variety of infections, sores, inflammation, or even rotting of the skin.
Financial issues – Asking for money, neglecting bills, items pawned or traded, theft.
CODEPENDENCY IN RELATIONSHIPS
Codependency is a pattern of interactions where you try to help the person manage his struggles with addiction. But in doing so, you may actually be enabling the person to keep using. An example of a codependent action includes attempting to rescue the person you love from the consequences of their substance misuse. If your loved one is battling with substance abuse, you’re probably no stranger to relationship issues. Below are a few do’s and don’ts. However, with a healthy support system, like one at The Blake House, your loved one will often have a greater chance of overcoming addiction.
DOS:
Focus on building trust so they feel comfortable talking with you.
Be honest with your loved one. Honesty is the best policy and letting them know how their choices and behaviors affect you is 100% acceptable.
Respect his privacy. This is a hard one because oftentimes addicts are dishonest and you feel like you can’t trust them. Just be his support team. You can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to. You’ve heard the saying – “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink”. The same is true for recovery. No one is going to give regeneration an honest shot until they’re ready.
DON’TS:
Threaten him or give him an ultimatum–you may not like the outcome. Not only that, but it may make your loved one hide things from you.
Criticize your loved one. This can contribute to shame and lessen his belief in his ability to quit and recover. Healthy criticism in a healthy individual can be beneficial, but it may take a while to get there. Be patient, love, and let God take the reins.
Don’t expect immediate change. Recovery from addiction is a lifelong process.
Codependency may be further defined as over-functioning for an addict while not caring for one’s own well-being. Someone who is codependent may neglect their own self-care and instead focus on the needs of the loved one. Do you find yourself making excuses for your loved one in order to protect them from their misconduct, fulfilling his household duties, or paying for damages to “keep him out of trouble?” At The Blake House, we believe support and therapy for the loved ones of an addict is an integral part of the regeneration process.
Substance abuse can be easily hidden, and develop in plain sight throughout the years. Educating yourself about addiction is the best thing you can do for yourself and your loved one. Unraveling addiction can be very complex and it often involves the family getting help too. As a family member, spouse, or close friend of someone with an addiction, you are essential to the success of your loved one’s treatment journey.
HELP FOR ADDICTION IS AVAILABLE
The Blake House believes the state of a man before addiction is filled with wounds of rejection and pain, and these wounds have led to a life of addiction. The process of regeneration, “to reform to a better state,” is the prescription for life-long freedom from addiction. The single most important factor to a man being admitted to The Blake House is his attitude. When he’s ready, The Blake House is here.
Colossians 3:17 – Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.
TAGS:
changes in behavior, codependency in relationships, Help for addiction, signs of abuse
21 MAR INTERACTING WITH OLD FRIENDS AFTER TREATMENT
in Uncategorized by Andrew Spurlock
Congratulations! You’ve done it. You’ve completed one of the hardest, if not the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life: recovered from addiction and regenerated yourself as a new man. But now what?
Now that you’re sober and free from your vice, you get to see the world through a new lens. For many, this can be both exhilarating and nerve-racking. Studies say the success rate for staying in recovery after treatment is about 50%. But unfortunately, this means there is an equal chance of relapse—about the same as other chronic diseases like diabetes and heart disease. It takes time to develop new habits to support your life of sobriety ignoring the triggers that you may face every day and everywhere. But it’s doable. You can do it!
One trigger for relapse is spending time with the people you used to drink or use drugs with. Even if your old friends support your recovery, spending time with them can be very dangerous for your sobriety. And you probably learned this in treatment.
WE HAVE SOME RECOMMENDATIONS FOR INTERACTIONS WITH OLD FRIENDS AFTER TREATMENT:
Practice what you’ll say.
Visualize potential interactions with your old friends. Ask a friend or family member to help you practice what you’ll say. You’ll want to know how and what to say because there may come a time that you cross paths with old friends. Planning ahead and having to prepare your thoughts can be a lifesaver for life after treatment.
Be open and honest.
If you are around these old friends, be open and honest. Let him or her know that you need to focus on yourself and your sobriety. If you try to make excuses or avoid them, that may cause you more stress than simply being open and honest.
Make good choices.
After treatment, you’ll want to make good choices that change your life for the better. This will help you strive to be the best person you can be and reach goals you never thought were possible. One thing you’ll need to do is fill your time. A hobby is a great way to introduce a new activity to your life as well as meet new like-minded people.
Regeneration
Now that you’re a regenerated man, set goals and a plan to achieve them. Whether it exercising, tackling a home improvement project, spending more time with family, or changing careers, with the support of your loved ones and your trust in God, you can succeed. Your future is a blank slate, so make the most of your second chance.
For more information on The Blake House 10-month regeneration program for men struggling with addiction, contact us today.
Photo credit: FocussedFish.com
24 JAN ADDICTION: MORE COMMON THAN ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO ADMIT
in Uncategorized by Andrew Spurlock
Have you ever heard someone say “I’m addicted to blank”? While some casually say this without meaning it, others truly may struggle with addiction. Addiction is not a sign of weakness, a character flaw or a moral failure. It is a condition that affects millions of Amercians–people of all ages, races, gender and socioeconomic statuses. And while there is no one specific cause of addiction, there is hope and help is available.
WHAT IS ADDICTION?
By definition, addiction is a chronic dysfunction of the brain that involves:
Reward
Motivation
Memory
Addiction is the body craving a substance or behavior, especially if it causes a compulsive or obsessive pursuit of reward and lack of concern over consequences. It is a disease that changes both brain structure and function.
BEHAVIORS ASSOCIATED WITH ADDICTION
With addiction, changes in the brain’s structure and function are what cause people to have intense cravings, changes in personality, abnormal movements and other abnormal behaviors. Brain imaging studies show changes in the areas of the brain that relate to judgment, decision making, learning, memory and behavioral control when an addiction is present. That explains a lot, doesn’t it? With drug and alcohol addiction, substances “hijack” the brain and can cause someone to act in a way he wouldn’t if in a sober state.
COMMON ADDICTIONS
When we say the word “addiction,” many people think of drugs or alcohol but those are not the only substances or behaviors people can be addicted to. Remember, an addiction is when the body craves something causing a compulsive or obsessive pursuit of reward no matter the consequences. Some common addictions include:
Drug – Drugs can alter a person’s judgment and thinking and have long-term negative effects on one’s health. Addiction to drugs not only includes illegal substances, but also prescription and legal substances. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, drug overdose deaths in the US surpassed a milestone: 100,000 deaths in a year.
Nicotine – Nicotine is the chemical in tobacco that keeps you smoking or chewing tobacco and it reaches the brain within seconds. Once in the brain, nicotine increases the release of neurotransmitters, which help regulate mood and behavior.
Alcohol – A legal, controlled substance, alcohol can lower anxiety and inhibition with a range of side effects. Not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic. But long-term use and misuse can have serious health risks and negative effects on one’s life, in general. Heartbreakingly, more than 14 million adults struggle with alcohol addiction.
Coffee or caffeine – Coffee is widely used in society, and therefore, it’s generally acceptable, which can open the door to overuse.
Gambling – While only 1% to 2% of adults develop problems with gambling, it still continues to affect a significant amount of the population. Compulsive gamblers tend to remember the highs of the wins and block out the losses
Anger – Anger feels good: it overrides moral and rational control. It can lead to “rushes” when the thought or action of danger triggers dopamine reward receptors in the brain. It can easily affect people in their day-to-day activities.
Food – Appropriately 2% of populations have eating disorders or food addictions. Food affects the brain chemistry in the same way that drugs do. Most eating disorders stem from emotional and psychological issues, and because food appears to be harmless and abundant, it becomes the focus for abuse.
Technology – Have you heard of “nomophobia?” It means “no-mobile-phone-phobia” and describes the psychological attachment people have to their mobile devices. Addicted individuals may find themselves in front of the screen for hours or days at a time, and so absorbed with the technology, that their life seems to pass them by.
Sex – Just like the abuse of other substances or practices, sex addicts use it to escape from reality, relieve anxiety or to fulfill compulsions. It is estimated that 8% of men and 3% of women in the US are affected by sex or relationship addiction.
Work – We probably all know someone who’s a “work-a-holic.” It is a real mental health condition, and like any other addiction, work addiction is the inability to stop the behavior. It often stems from a compulsive need to achieve status and success, or to escape emotional stress.
ADDICTION DOESN’T HAVE A “TYPE”
As we mentioned before, addiction affects people with a variety of backgrounds. Addiction doesn’t care how successful you are, your gender, your age, how much money you make, etc. All considered, genetics and mental illness can play a role in whether someone has addictive behavior, the substance or activity the person is addicted to and the severity of the addiction. For instance, someone struggling with mental illness or someone who has a genetic predisposition may start using drugs in an attempt to feel better, when in actuality, the use of drugs and alcohol often has devastating, long-term effects.
HELP IS AVAILABLE
At the Blake House, we believe in the Lord’s healing and focus on “regenerating” men spiritually, physically and mentally. By definition, the word rehabilitation means “to restore to a former state.” We believe that the state of a man before addiction is filled with wounds of rejection and pain, and these wounds have led to a life of addiction. The process of regeneration, “to reform to a better state,” is the prescription for life-long freedom from addiction. If you are ready for help, The Blake House is here for you. Contact us today to learn more about our 10-month regeneration program.
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